King of the Hill

I've always liked King of the Hill. 'Liked' in the sense that, if it was on, I'd watch it. I wouldn't schedule my night around it, I'm not even sure I knew when it came on regularly. I just found it mildly entertaining, that's all. It didn't come close to my love of Lost, The Office, and Family Guy. Actually, for awhile there, all TV shows were referred to as either 'Lost' or 'Not Lost.' That is to say, if it wasn't Lost, it didn't matter. And that still holds true for any serious TV drama currently running.

However, something happened the other night while watching King of the Hill... I freakin loved it. I found it hilarious, I laughed really hard, like Family Guy hard. I started DVRing future showings and making a trip to Plato's Closet to see if they had any used copies of KOTH on DVD (oh married life...). It's still the same show, I just enjoy it more. Anyway, check it out. And if I didn't convince you, here are some quotes of Hank Hill that might:

Bobby, if you weren't my son I'd hug ya.

You, uh, you're my son, you know, with everything that entails... feelings of fondness and more... You know what I mean, don’t you, boy?

If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.

If you'd like to learn more about sexual education, don't! Nobody likes a know-it-all who sits around talking about their genitalia. Now, I think you might like this next show, The X-Files. I always thought it was some kind of porno, on account of the title, but turns out it's all about two young people who don't have sex. Now, that's entertainment!

GAY! I'm not gay! I sell propane and propane accessories!

You can't just pick and choose which laws to follow. Sure I'd like to tape a baseball game without the express written consent of major league baseball, but that's just not the way it works.

(As Ted Wassanasong hands Hank a cigar)Don't mind if I -- oh, you probably didn't realize this, but this is Cuban. I'll just go ahead and destroy it for you.

I can't enjoy a party until I know where the bathroom is. You knew that when you married me.

(on finding Bobby in his room holding a cheerleader's uniform)There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed.

Best Team Ever

Be warned, I did very little research for this post. In fact, I did none. This is yet another list made up of my favorites and by no means the best. Yes, of course, how good a player is has a lot to do with how much I like them (but not the only factor). For example, no Brave will be on my team, not Maddux, Chipper, Smoltz, or McGriff. Because I hate the Braves, and you should too.

Here we go...

1st Base: Albert Pujols. He hit three homeruns against the Reds on Easter a few years back and I still like the guy. I blamed our pitchers, but really is it their fault he's one of the best hitters the game's ever seen?

2nd Base: Craig Biggio. I'm loving Brandon Phillips right now though.

Shortstop: Cal Ripken Jr. Man I wanted to put Barry Larkin here, and maybe I should have. If you check back on this post I might have changed it. Anyway, Ripken's not at third because I had to include...

3rd Base: Chris Sabo. I played third (I played everywhere, but third sometimes), I had glasses, I was number 17, he was my favorite. I even had a poster.

Left Field: Bubba Bullock. Didn't see that coming did ya? He covers a ton of ground and guns people down at least twice a game. Easily the best left fielder in Jessamine County's Men's E league softball last year.

Center Field: Ken Griffey Jr. The classic "if only" story of baseball. If only he was more than a shadow of himself after coming to Cincy... I'd be happier.

Right Field: Ichiro Suzuki. This kid's just a blast to watch, hitting and fielding. I was watching The Best Damn 50 Top Baseball Plays the other day and I think Ichiro was in about half of them.

Catcher: Travis Whalen (circa 1995). Maybe the first time Whalen spoke to me was while catching on the opposing team in Little League (and it was probably something negative about my mother). Just the classic insulting, distracting, hilarious Little League catcher.

Starting Pitcher: Nolan Ryan. My brother's favorite player of all time and he taught me to love him. That and Ryan's classic beat-down of our childhood. Oh, and good luck catching this guy Whalen (age 11).

Closer: Rob Dibble. A freakin nut job, but he was as good as he was crazy.

Utility Man: Ryan Freel. Maybe my favorite current player. Obviously there's the incredible catches he makes, sacrificing his body in later September when the Red's are failing to even play spoiler. But it's awesome how the kid's always dirty (I call him 'kid' because in my mind he's about 12 years old). One time after a really awkward slide/collision at home plate Freel was six steps towards the dugout and turns around to come back to the plate to pat the catcher on the butt. Hilarious.

No DH, I'm a NL guy. Notice the Reds tilt on things?