Saturday, April 12, 2008

King of the Hill

I've always liked King of the Hill. 'Liked' in the sense that, if it was on, I'd watch it. I wouldn't schedule my night around it, I'm not even sure I knew when it came on regularly. I just found it mildly entertaining, that's all. It didn't come close to my love of Lost, The Office, and Family Guy. Actually, for awhile there, all TV shows were referred to as either 'Lost' or 'Not Lost.' That is to say, if it wasn't Lost, it didn't matter. And that still holds true for any serious TV drama currently running.

However, something happened the other night while watching King of the Hill... I freakin loved it. I found it hilarious, I laughed really hard, like Family Guy hard. I started DVRing future showings and making a trip to Plato's Closet to see if they had any used copies of KOTH on DVD (oh married life...). It's still the same show, I just enjoy it more. Anyway, check it out. And if I didn't convince you, here are some quotes of Hank Hill that might:

Bobby, if you weren't my son I'd hug ya.

You, uh, you're my son, you know, with everything that entails... feelings of fondness and more... You know what I mean, don’t you, boy?

If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.

If you'd like to learn more about sexual education, don't! Nobody likes a know-it-all who sits around talking about their genitalia. Now, I think you might like this next show, The X-Files. I always thought it was some kind of porno, on account of the title, but turns out it's all about two young people who don't have sex. Now, that's entertainment!

GAY! I'm not gay! I sell propane and propane accessories!

You can't just pick and choose which laws to follow. Sure I'd like to tape a baseball game without the express written consent of major league baseball, but that's just not the way it works.

(As Ted Wassanasong hands Hank a cigar)Don't mind if I -- oh, you probably didn't realize this, but this is Cuban. I'll just go ahead and destroy it for you.

I can't enjoy a party until I know where the bathroom is. You knew that when you married me.

(on finding Bobby in his room holding a cheerleader's uniform)There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Best Team Ever

Be warned, I did very little research for this post. In fact, I did none. This is yet another list made up of my favorites and by no means the best. Yes, of course, how good a player is has a lot to do with how much I like them (but not the only factor). For example, no Brave will be on my team, not Maddux, Chipper, Smoltz, or McGriff. Because I hate the Braves, and you should too.

Here we go...

1st Base: Albert Pujols. He hit three homeruns against the Reds on Easter a few years back and I still like the guy. I blamed our pitchers, but really is it their fault he's one of the best hitters the game's ever seen?

2nd Base: Craig Biggio. I'm loving Brandon Phillips right now though.

Shortstop: Cal Ripken Jr. Man I wanted to put Barry Larkin here, and maybe I should have. If you check back on this post I might have changed it. Anyway, Ripken's not at third because I had to include...

3rd Base: Chris Sabo. I played third (I played everywhere, but third sometimes), I had glasses, I was number 17, he was my favorite. I even had a poster.

Left Field: Bubba Bullock. Didn't see that coming did ya? He covers a ton of ground and guns people down at least twice a game. Easily the best left fielder in Jessamine County's Men's E league softball last year.

Center Field: Ken Griffey Jr. The classic "if only" story of baseball. If only he was more than a shadow of himself after coming to Cincy... I'd be happier.

Right Field: Ichiro Suzuki. This kid's just a blast to watch, hitting and fielding. I was watching The Best Damn 50 Top Baseball Plays the other day and I think Ichiro was in about half of them.

Catcher: Travis Whalen (circa 1995). Maybe the first time Whalen spoke to me was while catching on the opposing team in Little League (and it was probably something negative about my mother). Just the classic insulting, distracting, hilarious Little League catcher.

Starting Pitcher: Nolan Ryan. My brother's favorite player of all time and he taught me to love him. That and Ryan's classic beat-down of our childhood. Oh, and good luck catching this guy Whalen (age 11).

Closer: Rob Dibble. A freakin nut job, but he was as good as he was crazy.

Utility Man: Ryan Freel. Maybe my favorite current player. Obviously there's the incredible catches he makes, sacrificing his body in later September when the Red's are failing to even play spoiler. But it's awesome how the kid's always dirty (I call him 'kid' because in my mind he's about 12 years old). One time after a really awkward slide/collision at home plate Freel was six steps towards the dugout and turns around to come back to the plate to pat the catcher on the butt. Hilarious.

No DH, I'm a NL guy. Notice the Reds tilt on things?

Monday, March 31, 2008

Mr. Wildcat

Mr. Wildcat, Bill Keightley, passed away tonight. The abrutness of it has left me shocked and really sad for someone I've never met. I feel terrible for his family, but at the same time, sometimes it's better when these things happen quickly so the family members don't have to watch their loved ones suffer. This is a huge loss for the University of Kentucky and its fanbase, but we should all keep in mind what a loss it is to his family and close friends. Billy G. said this is one of the saddest days of his life, and that Keightley had become one of his "very best friends." And that's after only spending one season with him.

Keightley started with the Cats back in 1962, serving under Rupp, Hall, Pitino, Smith, and now Gillispie. The man saw it all. And it may be hard to comprehend this, but he was far more loyal to and a bigger fan of the University of Kentucky basketball team than you. I can only expect that the program and its fanbase will honor him to the fullest degree.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


I know you're all getting tired of Hollywood continually taking advantage of plotlines and stories that already exist, but c'mon, it's Snake Eyes. Look at him. Sweet.
Go Joe!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Why I Love Brett Favre

My favorite athlete of all time retired this past week. He didn't exactly go out on top, but he very much went out on top of his game. Take away the freak show in New England and Favre would have easily won the MVP this past season. It would have been his fourth. That would have been more MVP awards than all other players combined*. I don't know how many touchdowns he threw, but I know it was the most (and yes, I know that is also true of interceptions). I also know he threw for the equivalent distance of circling the Earth nine times and a round trip to Saturn*. But those aren't the reasons he was my favorite. These are the reasons he was my favorite...

5) He freakin loved to play football. He was out there having a blast, cutting up with teammates, coaches, opponents, refs, anyone that would listen. I think he was really good at realizing that he got paid a lot of money to play a game, a game that he was really good at. It seemed that he never took that for granted.

4) He was tough. I think he started like 1,232 games in a row*. This wasn't injury-free mind you. In 2003 he had a broken thumb on his right hand and still tied for the lead in touchdown passes. One might argue that he played through blindness in the 2006 season... and I couldn't argue that.

3) Monday Night Football Games featuring Favre were a holiday for myself and Bubba Bullock. The last one I remember celebrating ended with him throwing for a 125* yard touhdown on the first play of overtime to win the game. His finest was his performance the day after his father passed away, throwing for 399 and 4 touchdowns, the stuff legends are made of. Honorable mention for his part in Antonio Freeman's incredible sliding on his belly rolling over on his back grabbing the ball and winning the game play. And I know Madden probably got on your nerves with his man-crush on Favre, but Madden just got on my nerves anyway, and since I love Favre the man-crush never really bothered me.

2) He was great. He had great play-making ability. Making plays by scrambling, scraping, throwing off a defender, head-butting a defender, convincing a defender they didn't want to tackle him, underhanding a pass, drop kicking a pass, whatever it took. He had a great arm. They say he's broken five players' hands*. He could throw the deep ball as well as anyone. He could thread a needle with the best of them too. I don't kid myself and think that he's the best quarterback of all time, that's just not the case. I do believe he belongs somewhere in the top ten, but maybe not even the top five. I'm not saying he's the best, just my favorite and mainly for my number one reason...

1) He played the quarterback position exactly like I would. I would have an extremely hard time just throwing the ball away and would probably throw as many interceptions as he did. I too would go long about every third play because going long is awesome, and results in a touchdown so much more than a screen. I would also scramble around and try some crazy flip pass to my running back in the flat. The only thing is, I would never be as good at any of that as he was. Nobody will ever play as crazy, as against the mold as Brett Favre and be nearly as successful as he was.

*Facts not checked

Sunday, February 24, 2008

My Favorite Movie Moments

Once again I've been inspired by a fellow blogger to make a list. What follows is a list of my five favorite movie moments. It would be far more accurate to say this is simply a list of movie moments that I really like. I didn't spend nearly enough time considering all the great moments in all the great movies I've seen. That would have taken a couple days solid and you people just don't pay me enough for that. Anyway, here goes, in no particular order...

1. Mr. Orange unloads a clip into Mr. Blonde (Reservoir Dogs)
After slicing the cop's face to pieces and even cutting off his ear Mr. Blonde was about to set the cop ablaze. Watching this all go down you're filled with anger and hatred, disgust and sadness, but not so much that you're not enjoying "Stuck in the Middle with You" playing in the background. And suddenly Mr. Orange wakes up and fires away until his gun goes click, and then even makes it go click a couple more times just for good measure. Nice.

2. "My friends, you bow to no one" (The Return of the King)
So basically the Hobbits just saved the world and they're trying to pay their respects to the new king Aragorn. He instead turns the table and bows to them, along with everyone there, which includes like 14 different races of men. You kind of need to really understand Middle Earth to know how cool that was. Take my word for it, it was cool.

3. Sheriff throws his coffee mug at Lebowski's face (The Big Lebowski)
He threw his mug, that he was drinking out of, with stuff in it, at his face. Hilarious.

4. Screaming into the infinite abyss (Garden State)
Largeman is feeling the affects of not taking his medication, feelings and emotions. They've just visited with people that really savored love and adventure and all these great things that were so much bigger than themselves; all these things that Largeman has been completely numb to most of his life. He's finally waking up and acts on an urge and climbs atop some broken down earth mover and screams at the top of his lungs into the bottomless cavern. But it's when he's joined by his friends that really gets me. Drenched in rain, wearing trashbags, screaming into a hole, with Simon and Garfunkel playing loudly. Beautiful.

5. Jack Black sings Let's Get it On (High Fidelity)
Completely unexpected. And really freakin good. I don't really like night clubs, and I sure don't like dancing, but everytime I watch that I have the urge to be there, dancing.

So there's that. Agree or disagree?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Help Me Out

So I've spent the last couple hours listening to U2 and that always reminds me of how awesome music is. if you haven't discovered go check it out. You can view most any music video. Ok, I don't know if that's true, but they had like 50 videos for U2. That's good enough for me to say they have most any music video.

I consider myself to be a huge fan of music, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm pretty much an amateur. My IPod is like 4% full (it's important to note though that it's an 80 gigger and I don't steal music). I still enjoy my guilty pleasures: Linkin Park and Blink 182. I know that's pretty much a sin to you music connoisseurs, but I can't help it. I listen to the greats and I still enjoy the cheap pop rock stuff. I share your hated for Nickelback if that helps. But let's not kid ourselves, Kelly Clarkson is good.

Just within the past couple years I've come to know and love the Beatles and Led Zeppelin. I did this with the help of two experts on the bands, Josh Corman and Daniel Leffel, respectively. They suggested what albums I should purchase first as an introduction to the band; albums that did a good job representing the music of the bands and albums that were good enough to make me want more.

Now, through the power of the blog, I've developed the desire to hear more Bob Dylan. I'm pretty sure all I know of him is Rainy Day Women from the Forrest Gump soundtrack (although I'm sure there are other hits out here I know). So the point of the blog is this: what are one, two, or three albums that would be good introductory albums for me to purchase/ask for for my birthday? I don't do greatest hits, they usually just lead to buying the original albums, let's cut out the middle man. Since I think there are only about two of you that read this, I charge you with finding the answer to my question. Thanks in advance for your words of wisdom.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Pitchers and Catchers Report Today

Dusty Baker officially takes the reigns of my Cincinnati Reds today as catchers and pitchers report to training camp today down in Sarasota. In case you hadn't heard, I love the Reds, love 'em more than any sports team aside from the UK basketball team. Since this has been one of the most disappointing/frustrating/painful basketball seasons of my life, I'm looking forward to the baseball season more than ever.

I've been a fan since I was a kid. Back when they were good, back when Chris Sabo was cool and Barry Larkin was alive. Way back before the Yankees and the Red Sox were supporting terrorists and oil companies to fund their championships.

There's plenty to look forward to this year though. We're simply busting with young talent. Bailey, Votto, Keppinger, Hopper, Phillips... all great players that will bring me great joy, until the big spenders notice them, buy their soul and rob me of my happiness. Sure our new coach has been going downhill the last few years, but he was coaching the Cubs, nobody can blame him.

Alright, since blogs are most successful when they include controversial statements, questions to commentors, or lists, I'll end my first post with a list. These are my predictions for the 2008 Cincinnati Reds' Season:

- Bronson Arroyo will throw 3 no-hitters and have an album go platinum

- Ryan Freel will make up 3 of the top 10 web gems every night (on average)

- The Reds will sweep the Bosox at home in June

- The Reds will sweep the Yankees in the Bronx a week after that

- Homer Bailey will win the Cy Young award and wipe out all crime in the city of Cincinnati

- Adam Dunn will hit 90 homeruns and strike out only twice (by umpires with huge strike zones)

- Griffey won't get injured (probably the most absurd claim on the list)

- Having both been swept by the Reds, the Sox and the Yanks will work together to purchase the entire Reds organization, shut down Great American Ball Park and auction off the players to the highest bidders